Crystal’s Neighborhood

I'm crying hysterically right now because I just watched a video of pigs being inhumanely slaughtered... it's not so much about it being an animal, but pigs are as sensitive and smart as dogs... (i don't know if smart is saying much though for some dogs) and they were just dragging them into a room and when they saw their pig friends tied up and screaming... literally screaming, I'm not even kidding... on the ground, they started freaking out too. and all I could think about was my dogs. I don't know what to do. I am so torn. All of the research I did about factory farming and the books I have yet to finish reading (Michael Pollan: The Omnivore's Dilemma, Peter Singer: Animal Liberation and The Way We Eat, Why Our Food Choices Matter)... I don't know if I can eat animals anymore... it's so sad. I know places like Whole Foods have huge long criteria that the farms must meet where they get their meat from... and they are raised humanely and slaughtered humanely... but even so... that's still eating another animal.

and honestly, in this day and age, it's completely unnecessary to eat meat... we do it for the taste...I do it for the taste, to please my palate... There are plenty of legumes that contain the protein of meat... it's not necessary... but so convenient... what do I do?? I'm so confused and so very sad I can't believe how much it hurt me inside to watch that.

and the thing is, I'm just one person, I'm just me.. even if I swear off meat, I won't really be saving any (many) animals...

I love meat... but I can't stop thinking about what I'm doing now. and i feel soooooo guilty. In one of the books, I think it was one of Peter Singer's books, he talks about giving a vegetarian who does it for moral reasons the chance to slaughter his own chicken so it's done humanely for sure.. and the vegetarian does it.. and eats the chicken with no problems!

I think it's the complete OPPOSITE for most people... if I had to kill my own food, I wouldn't be able to eat it... think about this: I love lobster... boiling them alive is inhumane... a humane way to kill them is by taking a very sharp knife and slicing them straight down right between the eyes... they don't even feel it.. but I know if I couldn't do it.. and if I did do it, I wouldn't be able to eat it. It'd be so much easier to just stick the lobster in the water, put the lid on and walk away until it's done cooking.

Out of sight, out of mind... I'd rather have someone else murder my animals for me.
but I'm starting to see the horror of it staring back at me from my plate every time my plate is filled with animal flesh... I should have never done my speech, ethics paper, and american government paper on this topic... I'll never feel the same way again

On the flip plus side, I do really honestly like tofu... so who knows... maybe I can do it

In the meantime, I highly urge you guys to check out these books... because they are good, not because I want you to feel the way I do.

The Way We Eat: Why Our Food Choices Matter

Peter Singer

The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals

Michael Pollan

Animal Liberation

Peter Singer

I agree with Peter Singer. I want to meet the guy.

If I have a retail weakness, it's Target. I can shop anywhere in the world and not feel the overwhelming urge to buy, buy, buy! Clothes, shoes, baby stuff, kid stuff, bedding, furniture, decor, groceries, EVERY THING.
Tonight, I went in there to just browse. Nick was off to his dad's for the weekend so it was just me and Zo. Girls' night out shopping. I was just hoping to get some sandals and a pair of shorts for myself and Nick. I won't say how much I spent, but it was well over the idea I had in my head before I ever left the house. I'll probably take two of the shirts back because they fit weird, but I love me some bermuda shorts. I also bought a new bedding set for Zo..well, the beginning of a new bedding set.

Ladybug

I only bought the quilt, dust ruffle and a fitted sheet. I'm going to go back and get the rest but I'm staying away from the mobile and bumper pad because she's 6 months, we don't need it.

Note: I have a thing for ladybugs. I love them! Fun fact for the day, my first word was ladybug. But, it was also the name of our pet collie. That dog and I were best buds, and my parents had to constantly tell her to back off (she hung over me like I was her baby) so I picked up on her name.

I am back on LJ. If any of you are over there, let me know. I feel more comfortable over there, I've known the people on my friends list for a very long time (some 5+years) and I need a comfort zone. Add my username _thats_so_hot_ (I need a new one!)

I had today off. It's nice having 3 days off, working one, having another day to hang out with the kids! I went in to drop some stuff off for my boss, and she pulled me aside and said I got a raise! I've only been there coming on 2 months, so I'm surprised and happy about this. Needless to say, I really enjoy my job, even though my main role will be dying down this summer (retail slows down) and I'll be doing the normal retail grind.

I took the kids to the park Monday as a "surprise". Nick loves surprises so when he goes above and beyond to be well-behaved, I usually get him something or take him on a "surprise". So we went to our favorite park:

"Just fucking dandy, thanks!"

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I thought I would try a new approach to this whole, looking for freelance work thing. Sure, being angry and panicky and all fearing the fear of failure is really good for my mental health and my husband just loves being around me when I'm like that - but I thought maybe I'd go out on a crazy, bald, umbrella slinging whim and try a different way of thinking.

I've been trying to make a lot of changes, lately. When I got back from Tokyo I was all, "Fuck this! This is my life! My L-I-F-E! It's short! I gotta start doing shit! HARDCORE." And then like magic, the Universe was all, "Hah-hah, Grasshopper. You want change? You think you want to live your life, HARDCORE!? YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND, SUCKA." And, like magic, my job refused to stop paying my obscenely high, trillion figure salary which then resulted in me making the decision to peace out.

So, in the midst of panicking and worrying about money and breathing in bags of all shapes, sizes and colors - I'm trying to...redecorate and refurbish my life.

See, I love myself. A lot. But I feel like somewhere over the past two years I went from being a really cute shabby chic studio apartment to being a 2 bedroom,1 bath cottage that sort of resemble the shabby chic studio aparment, but wtih considerably more room in both the rear and middle section. The owner started to feel really bad about the house, but was too busy enjoying red wine and pizza and sleeping in late to like, mow the lawn, get new furniture or replace the peeling wallpaper.

So, my goal is to refurbish the house, inside and out, to being the spacious one bedroom studio apartment with funky furniture, colorful walls and a tiny yet bountiful garden in front.

"Fuck this. I'm going across the street for a drink!"

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So, to do that, I've here's what I've been doing:

*  While I may not seem like the yoga type, I totally dig it. I've always to get ball bendy and stretchy and to be less homicidal and more zen, so I'm doing yoga once a week.

* I always look at cute girls with glasses and am filled with jealous rage, so I'm going to take my ass to Specsavers and get some cute glasses.

* I'm going to the gym! And working out! And lifting weights, and trying to, oh I don't know, fit into the hot jeans I used to wear when I first moved here. Imagine! JUST IMAGINE. If I could get my ass into US size 6s or 8s again, I would be SOOOO HAPPY!!!! (Fat and happy, I'm over it. I'm cool being thin and content. Or how about thinnish and not hating how her body looks every single fucking day of her life. My that sounds nice.)

* I've seriously been taking vitamins. Vitamins for my hair and skin, a multivitamin, and these nifty effervescent Vitamin C tablets. This really isn't that big of a deal, but I just wanted to type the word effervescent. It's my favorite new word.)

But I don't know if believe that anymore. Since picking up and moving here, I don't feel like I've been particularly brave or proactive about anything. Yes, I did a damn good at my job. Yes, I was asked to be on TV and in a magazine and to give some quotes here and there and was basically handed a writing job.

In my heart, I want to work my ass off. I want to be brave. I want to be tired and excited all of the time, and to take a massive risk, and then get to bask in the glow of my success.

But at the moment, I have to admit, I'm so scared of actually working that hard. I'm scared of taking a risk, because what if that glow doesn't come?

What if I'm the girl who moved here and then had some good shit happen to her...and then have that be it?

That can't be it.

I won't let it be it...but I have to admit I've been sitting here with a few tools and a shopping list of supplies I need to refurbish my "house"...and I feel like all I can do is sit and stare at my To-Do list through tearful eyes.

I can do this. I will do this.

It's just a shame getting started has to be this hard.

...and I drank myself into oblivion instead.

My dear friend Isabelle had a housewarming party this past Saturday, and it was what the Brits call a "fancy dress" party. Personally, when I hear fancy dress it strikes fear into my heart because I don't have any fancy dresses and JESUS that means I would probably have to shave my legs or something. And wear nylons.

I hate nylons.

But actually, Fancy Dress = Costume Party, which = MUCHO GRANDE FUN.

The theme of said party was "heroes" (not the show)  and my hero, naturally, is a crackhead, scabby, emaciated, incredibly talented singer with a giant beehive and an incarcerated husband.

Behold the glory that is me as Amy Winehouse.

"Look! I have TITS on my ARM!"

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No, no, no...

Grab your helmet, check the air in your tires, and hop on your bike because in many U.S. cities, May 12 - 16 is Bike to Work Week! Six Apart has a lot of biking enthusiasts, so we're very excited to support this event by encouraging all of our employees to bike to work this week. San Francisco's Bike to Work Day is tomorrow, Thursday, May 15th, and New York's is Friday, May 16th.

Bike to Work Week

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Six Apart is helping out its employees by providing maps (shaded according to steepness - a must in SF!) to help everyone plan out his/her route, as well as finding first-time riders buddies to commute with. We're also supporting ALL SF riders who pass the front of our office by handing out coffee, juice and snacks from 7 a.m. to 9 a.m. tomorrow morning. If you're in our neighborhood, look for the sign that says "Six Apart Supports Bike to Work Day" and stop by to say hi and get energized!

Improve your health, financial status, productivity, and happiness by joining thousands - maybe even millions - of commuters around the country who are hopping on their bikes to get to work. Visit the Bike to Work Week website to find out more about events in your area.

Support the two-wheeled way of life with the "Passing Left" theme found in "Photo-Based" in the Design Area. Planning on cycling to work this week? Let us know in the comments!

Passing Left

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As we mentioned last week, we had to postpone the maintenance that was due to occur on Thursday, May 8th.

We have rescheduled the maintenance for tonight, Tuesday, May 13th, starting at 6:00 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time (that's 1:00 A.M. UTC/GMT). We'll be taking Vox offline for a bit in order to move the service to a brand new home in some bright, shiny new server racks. We don't expect to be offline for more than an hour or two, but we apologize in advance for any inconvenience this may cause.

Again, thank you for your patience as we continue to invest in Vox's infrastructure!

Quick.  How do you make a hardcore, Bush-loving, Republican's head explode?

Oh yeah, this way:

Republican John McCain pledged to take the lead in combating global climate change if elected president in a speech that set him apart from the policies of President George W. Bush.

In remarks he prepared to give at a wind technology firm in Portland, Oregon, on Monday, the Arizona senator said he would seek international accords to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, and would offer an incentive system to make businesses in the United States cleaner.

"The facts of global warming demand our urgent attention, especially in Washington," McCain said in remarks he planned to give at the Vestas Wind Technology plant.

This is also further proof that evolution exists.

I keep hearing that once it is official when Clinton has dropped out of the race that the Democratic Party will have to undergo a healing process.  I also keep hearing that the easy way of doing this is for Obama to make Clinton the VP on the ticket.

But the way this campaign has gone on the left side of the aisle, you really have to sense the canyon that healing process will have to cross is wide.  And as Novak reports, a VP nod just ain't going to happen:

Close-in supporters of Sen. Barack Obama's presidential campaign are convinced he never will offer the vice presidential nomination to Sen. Hillary Clinton for one overriding reason: Michelle Obama.

The Democratic front-runner's wife did not comment on other rival candidates for the party's nomination, but she has been sniping at Clinton since last summer. According to Obama sources, those public utterances do not reveal the extent of her hostility.

A footnote: Support is growing in Democratic ranks for Ohio Gov. Ted Strickland as vice president. He would bring to the ticket maturity (66 years old), experience (six terms in Congress) and moderation (rated "A" by the National Rifle Association). He is very popular in Ohio, a state Republicans must carry to elect a president.

So the question is going to be can the Democratic Party heal?  My guess:  Most likely.  If McCain could heal the Republican Party -- my guess is that it will happen with the Democrats.

But if this holds true...

A sizable proportion of Democrats would vote for John McCain next November if he is matched against the candidate they do not support for the Democratic nomination. This is particularly true for Hillary Clinton supporters, more than a quarter of whom currently say they would vote for McCain if Barack Obama is the Democratic nominee.

...Obama has his work cut out for him.  Or it is game, set, match for McCain.

• 18:12 @eerriinn have you tried Google Bookmarks or del.icio.us? I've used del.icio.us but have switched to Google. #

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For all y'all who love P&P here is an awesome new BBC Miniseries that is right up your alley!

Love it

North & South

...and it has one of those painfully romantic/devastating proposal scenes that I love so dearly.